Appearance & reality: the Wilde truth
My Way
Ursula Feist
“The truth is rarely pure and never simple. Modern life would be very tedious if it were, and modern literature a complete impossibility.”
“It is a terrible thing for a man to find out suddenly that all his life he has been speaking nothing but the truth.”
— Oscar Wilde
I thought these quotations were crying out for a column. The other day one of my friends said: “You do look worn.” — another one, five minutes later, offered “you look absolutely marvelous” — who was I to believe? I suspect both were lying. I probably just looked my age; none of my peers will ever resemble Bambi again. I find these comments quite superfluous. They mean nothing.
If I were asked by a friend whether I liked what she was wearing, I would never tell her that it did not suit her at all. I’d probably reply “hmm, ok.” Had I been with her while she was shopping for it, I’d have suggested she take it off.
However, these two examples are harmless and unimportant. What does bug me are the lies politicians tell and get away with. They promise the earth when they are campaigning and hardly ever deliver.
Hitler was a monster, but in his book “Mein Kampf” he gave a detailed description of his plans and strategies, including his final solution he had arrived at for the Jews. This fiend actually spoke the truth, but this truth seemed too horrendous for anyone to believe.
What it shows is that when the actual truth is spelled out nobody wants to accept it.
As to modern life, it would be far too unwise to tell the entire truth – what, for instance, are journalists to do? What are they up against? In some countries they go to jail if they report the way it is, but worse, they might even be shot. Those who are more fortunate may only lose their jobs. Many have their own agenda and are also committed to helping sell the paper they write for.
Who tells things as they really are? I believe the real truth is to be found in what is not being said. Read between the lines and figure it out. Doctors leave you in a fog much of the time – probably for your own good.
When politicians and lawyers are asked tricky questions and answer “no comment” I imagine they have something to hide.
Everybody has told little white lies in their lives, feigned a migraine if they did not want to go somewhere. But what about those who cheat on their husbands, wives or partners? That gets complicated because they have to live a constant lie. Often because they can’t or are too cowardly to own up especially when money is involved. That must be very tedious and uncomfortable.
Oscar Wilde mainly refers to the upper classes in England. He has never lived among those who vegetated under squalid conditions and the really poor never did and never do care much about their reputation. Not so among the rich; they have to preserve their good name. They are in a position to use their money to hire the best lawyers and attorneys. It is no secret that with money one can lie a lot more easily. They will try anything to keep their names off the front pages of tabloids.
I am not going to discuss fraudulence, cheating or abuse. When people swear on the Bible that it is “the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help me God,” I know that they have been thoroughly honed by their lawyers how to answer and behave in Court.
My closing quotation of Wilde’s sums it all up: “One should absorb the color of life, but one should never remember its details. Details are always vulgar.”
I wonder what Oscar Wilde would have done with the word “truthiness” that has crept into today’s vocabulary!