Mother’s
Day: through the years and across the ocean
by Sandra Schachter
Over three decades ago I moved from Montreal to the other end of the world.
I was 21. Beginning a new life in Israel, I married and elatedly gave birth
to my first child. It was only at that point, as a mother, with my newborn daughter
in my arms, that I realized just how much I missed my mother. There was so much
I wanted to share with her — my baby’s first smile, her giggles,
the first time she turned over, when she began to crawl, her first words and
her first steps. Three years later my son was born, and once again all those
milestones streamed through my life — joy that a mother and daughter can
experience together. Over the years, we communicated in the only way possible
(other than phone calls) back then — through letters. There is nothing
like handwritten words, springing from the page, storytelling as they dance
and flow with sentiment and intimacy. I wrote twice a week, and twice a week
I found a letter in my mailbox.
What delight when I saw my mother’s familiar handwriting on the envelope,
and my father’s added “love and kisses.” I would excitedly
pull out the letter and read about all that was happening in the family. I would
greet the children on their return from school, exclaiming, “There’s
a letter from Grandma and Grandpa!” We would sit down together, and I’d
read the letter to them. It was always a special part of the day. It was that
connection that secured a warm place for my parents in their grandchildren’s
lives. So when the yearly visit came along, there was already a warm bond and
a sense of belonging and nearness. They weren’t strangers to one another.
Children can forget, but I kept their grandparents alive and vibrant every day.
Even though an entire year elapsed, there was an immediate feeling of family
when they reunited.
Mother’s Day was a time of the year that was particularly meaningful,
a time when I was poignantly aware of the thousands of miles between us. It
was a day when I understood, more than ever, just how much my mother had given
me. She supported me when I needed her most; she gave of herself unconditionally,
to me, my son and my daughter. There’s nothing more comforting, especially
when living so far away.
Through the years, watching my children grow, I realized more and more just
how much I was missing in not having my mother with me to share so many moments
– moments of happiness, moments of anxiety during Israel’s troubled
times, treasured moments - when it would be so heartwarming to pick up the phone
at any time, even several times during the day, just to chat.
This year, Mother’s Day will be especially significant to me. After 35
years of sending my love across the ocean, I’ll be able to tell my mother,
sitting by her side, just how much she means to me.
