Supervise kids on Internet, experts say
by Kristine Berey
Can parents and grandparents learn something from pedophiles? Although the term “pedophile”, literally meaning “love of children,” is a misnomer — since it is quite the opposite of love that drives sexual predators — the question is not as outrageous as it seems.
At a panel discussion entitled Hate on the Internet: Is your child a target? held last month at Royal Vale School in NDG, Det.-Sgt. Francesco Secondi of the Montreal police described the modus operandi of those who prey upon children in cyberspace. “They use attention, affection, gifts, all the things a parent should do,” Secondi said. “They invest time, money, energy, they’re aware of the latest music and subjects to chat about.”
Secondi said that when police search the homes of suspected users of child pornography, they find teen magazines, and notebooks filled with a child’s name and his or her latest hobbies and interests, “so they remember what to ask them. And they take their time, they don’t mind investing six months.”
How does he know? “In my work, I’m Cynthia, 13. That’s how we catch predators.”
Secondi also described the “perfect victim.” The child, usually between 11-14, has no parental involvement, no definite bedtime, is allowed to sleep away from home without parents checking on him and has access to the internet in a private area. “If you put a PC in your child’s bedroom, you’re telling him he can do anything he wants.”
Secondi urged parents to stay in touch with their kids and pay attention to any sudden changes in behaviour. “We’re so pre-occupied with our busy schedules, we forget about the important things in our lives.”
The Internet has provided unprecedented access to information and is an incredible learning tool. A cell-phone can be a blessing to worried parents who want to keep tabs on where their kids are. “It can be a great communication tool,” Secondi said, “but when you give your kid a cell-phone, you’re also giving him a weapon.”
The explosion of technology has changed the face of bullying in several ways. Whereas bullying used to be confined to certain times and places, like in the school-yard during school, now the victim is reachable at all hours on his phone or computer. “There is no safe place,” Secondi said. “The problem is that [the bullies] are not breaking any laws. Students can be targeted at home.” Attacks may take the form of insults or humiliating photo-shopped images being circulated online in email, text-messages, in blogs or on the cell phone. Because there is no face-to-face contact, some kids who are bullied become bullies, Secondi said. These behaviours, often considered a harmless joke, can lead to criminal charges for the perpetrator. “It doesn’t matter if the bully is 14 too,” Secondi said. Although the majority of children say their on-line experience is rewarding, parents must monitor and discuss their children’s Internet activities, said Jane Bailey, a University of Ottawa law professor. Kids are easily impressed by a slick website but are not necessarily equipped to critically evaluate its content. “Many hate-mongers have quite sophisticated web-sites,” Bailey said. “Even mainstream websites often have violent and highly sexualized content.”
University of Ottawa criminologist Valerie Steeves says the most important skill to teach children is to critically evaluate the information they come across, and to understand how stereotypes can be misused. “Kids are sensitive to stereotypes but are not critical of them,” Steeves said. This may make them targets for recruitment by Internet hate sites. She has designed educational video games, available at www.media-awareness.ca, teaching children and teens at their own developmental level how to recognize a website that may actually be run by a hate monger. The panelists agreed that the problem is not about to go away. A recent Ipsos Reid survey revealed that 70% of kids between 10-14 falsely believe that information they send online to their friends remains private, 25% say they would agree to meet someone they only spoke to in a “chat room,” and 11% have been approached by a stranger online asking for their address and full name.”
For more information visit cyberwise.ca, media-awareness.ca. On stereotyping and racism: tolerance.org
